Monday, April 17, 2006
Scottsdale
I was born in Scottsdale, yet over the past few days I have come to realize that I have no concept of what it is, or more appropriately, what it has become. I spent this weekend living in the "new desert", and while I'm not sure I have the ability to translate my confusion into words I feel a need to at least make the attempt.
First I'd like to say that staying in this strange place has made me hungry in the morning, which is very abnormal for me. I usually hold out for lunch.
Northern Scottsdale, which is now attached to Carefree and Cave Creek, is unlike any other place in the world. It consists of a series of desert themed communities, rows and rows of the same house right next to each other, all the exact same shades of tans and browns. Scattered amongst these communities are strip malls that are also tan and brown.
Every thing is the same color. This confuses the mind into believing that it is actually in the desert instead of a strip mall. I found myself becoming unable to distinguish Walgreens from a pile of rocks, and Starbucks from a Palo Verde tree. It only took a couple days for me to start believing that these corporate entities are actually part of the natural environment. And here lies the dark truth of this surreal place:
Scottsdale has succeeded in merging corporate culture with nature.
Even I could not resist the illusion. When trying to find some aloe vera lotion last night for my sunburnt body, I found myself asking, "Is that a Safeway or a mountain?" And then I found myself wondering "Is there any difference?"
I'm back at home now in Tempe, but I have forever been changed. I do not feel at home. The "city" seems strange and unnatural... my freshly enlightened mind wants to return to the only ecosystem in the world with upscale shopping and eateries, the eighth natural wonder of the world... Scottsdale.
First I'd like to say that staying in this strange place has made me hungry in the morning, which is very abnormal for me. I usually hold out for lunch.
Northern Scottsdale, which is now attached to Carefree and Cave Creek, is unlike any other place in the world. It consists of a series of desert themed communities, rows and rows of the same house right next to each other, all the exact same shades of tans and browns. Scattered amongst these communities are strip malls that are also tan and brown.
Every thing is the same color. This confuses the mind into believing that it is actually in the desert instead of a strip mall. I found myself becoming unable to distinguish Walgreens from a pile of rocks, and Starbucks from a Palo Verde tree. It only took a couple days for me to start believing that these corporate entities are actually part of the natural environment. And here lies the dark truth of this surreal place:
Scottsdale has succeeded in merging corporate culture with nature.
Even I could not resist the illusion. When trying to find some aloe vera lotion last night for my sunburnt body, I found myself asking, "Is that a Safeway or a mountain?" And then I found myself wondering "Is there any difference?"
I'm back at home now in Tempe, but I have forever been changed. I do not feel at home. The "city" seems strange and unnatural... my freshly enlightened mind wants to return to the only ecosystem in the world with upscale shopping and eateries, the eighth natural wonder of the world... Scottsdale.
Comments:
I didn't know Jack fucking Dandy was the guest blogger on today's Iron Lemon Post.
# posted by 
: 4/17/2006 2:08 PM
: 4/17/2006 2:08 PM
I'm surprised you made it out. I have known several poor souls who ventured into North Scottsdale, never to return. They were last seen driving brand new Hummers, subsisting on only nine dollar cups of coffee, and watching the Oprah Winfrey television show. It is a treacherous place. Beware.
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# posted by : 4/18/2006 1:46 AM
: 4/18/2006 1:46 AM